This is Evelyn's first cutting. Mild enough, I think we can develop over time.
She slammed the lid on her laptop down, shaking in every limb.
Why did he do this? Why? Doesn’t he know how much I need him? How much I trust him? Doesn’t he know he’s the only one I turn to?
She bit her trembling lip to stop the tears that wanted to come and blinked hard, willing them away.
The pain. The pain! How much more emotional pain I can take? The one guy I trusted through that hell I was in is walking out of my life.
Betrayal.
“Evelyn!” Her dad’s voice bellowed as he banged on her door. She cowered in the corner, clutching her clothes to her. “How many times do I have to tell you to go downstairs and do the dishes? You’re so rebellious and disobedient it’s beyond belief. I want to go to bed. If you’re not down in the next ten minutes, I’m coming in.”
Pausing a moment, she forced an unnaturally cheerful tone into her voice.
“Coming, Dad! Give me a minute.”
Whirling around, she dragged her pyjamas on, one idea burning in her mind.
Dan said it worked to ease the pain.
She opened her door and headed downstairs, past her dad on the computer, into the kitchen. Sobs overtook her, shaking her slight body, though she bit her lip to hold back any noise. Dashing to the far end of the kitchen, she grabbed the kitchen towel and turned to the cutlery. She picked up a dinner knife; drawing back her sleeve, she slashed down. It cut into the tender skin. She didn’t even notice any pain as she whirled around, turning her back to the cutlery.
Oh, God! What have I done! What have I done!
Clenching her teeth, she whirled around, grabbing all the cutlery and flinging it, wet, into the drawer. Gaining control over herself a little, she hastily sorted it into piles. Knives, forks, spoons. Then she slammed it shut.
You KNOW what the Bible says about cutting yourself! What have you done!
Shakily, she finished off the rest of the dishes. Drawing her sleeve carefully over her cut arm, she walked with a fake swagger upstairs, past her Dad. He didn’t glance up.
“All done. Night.”
“Night.”
She soaked her pillow with tears for an hour or more before falling asleep. The pain in her arm had faded to a dull ache.
I should have done it deeper...
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
As We Sharpen Our Pens...
As one of the main authors and most likely the person who will be piecing the snapshots together, I'm taking great pleasure in watching various snapshots forming under the hand of this band of authors.
Just how far God is going to use this, I don't know. However, I pray that He will bless our efforts and our poor feeble knowledge of the darker side of life to bring people through for Him.
I'm waiting with interest to see what our two newest authors, Nick/Bookwormnick and Katie/Horsegirl95, come up with as snapshots. Please welcome them to this story!
God bless!
~Jane
(Oh, and guys. Each post we make, let's sign it off with our names from now. ;) )
Just how far God is going to use this, I don't know. However, I pray that He will bless our efforts and our poor feeble knowledge of the darker side of life to bring people through for Him.
I'm waiting with interest to see what our two newest authors, Nick/Bookwormnick and Katie/Horsegirl95, come up with as snapshots. Please welcome them to this story!
God bless!
~Jane
(Oh, and guys. Each post we make, let's sign it off with our names from now. ;) )
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Scene 2
Alright, here is the second scene that I have written. WARNING: When you read this please be sure that you have tissue handy. I started crying as I wrote it. :) (Yes, I have more I want to add, but I will do that later. :P)
Evelyn sat on her bed with her brother’s knife in her hand. She sighed as she pulled the long knife from the sheath. She had let so many people down. She had too many broken hearts from boyfriends ditching her. Her family did not want her anymore. All they did was yell at her and get mad.
“What is the point of living if all you ever get is trampled on?” Evelyn asked herself out loud as she stared down at the blade. “I am not useful to anyone. All of my friends hate me, my family hates me, and even my friends outside the country hate me. I am good for nothing and never will be.” She yelled as tears streamed down her face.
She put the knife back in the sheath, stuck it in her pants pocket and headed down stairs. “Mom,” Evelyn said as she entered the kitchen. “I am going to head outside for awhile.” And headed out the back door.
Once Evelyn was a good mile away from the house, she pulled out the knife and dropped the sheath on the ground. She looked around her to make sure no one was watching. All she could see was the forest around her. There was no one in sight.
She sank to her knees as reality grasped her. She was going to commit suicide. Why? There was nothing left for her. She was no longer loved. She had been used over and over again. Her friends had abandoned her in her time of need. Her parents hated her.
“There is nothing left for me!” She yelled. She seemed to wait for an answer, but there was none. “I do not deserve to live.” She cried. Just as she cried out, the trees started to whistle, and the wind started to swirl. Evelyn looked up to see what was going on. The clouds had started to gather and the sky was growing dark. A rain drop fell on Evelyn’s nose, making her look up towards the sky.
She held the knife right at her bellybutton ready to plunge it in at any moment. Just as she was about ready to take her life, she heard someone whisper.
“Evelyn” It was saying. She stopped, brought the knife away from its target and looked around. To her surprise there was no one there. She brought the knife back up, shrugging away what she had heard. Slowly she pushed the knife into her stomach.
“Evelyn, my daughter, what are you doing?” She heard again.
“Father?” She asked as she stood up with tears in her eyes. She let the bloody knife drop to the ground. “Where are you? I can’t see you”
“No, you cannot. I will reveal myself when it is time.” He answered her. Evelyn felt a sincere peace come over her. “My daughter,” He said again. “Why are you out here, ready to take your own life? Has God called you to die yet?”
“God has never cared for me.” She cried. “He will never love me. Never.”
“Oh my daughter, He does love you. He has loved you through all that you have done.”
“I am dirty with sin.” She yelled. “I have been on drugs, I have let guys use me for their sake, I have self injured myself. He does not want me.”
“He will wash away your sins so that you may be in His presence forever.” He said calming her. Just then, Evelyn realized that she was bleeding badly and that she was a little weak.
She cried even harder. “If He loves me why has He left me to fall underneath the will of men?”
The man sighed. “You have a free will my dear Evelyn. He let you chose the path you walk because He loves you enough to hurt you. Why does a parent punish a child?”
With her hand over her stomach trying to stop the bleed, Evelyn stood there confused at the man’s question. “ Because the parent is mad at the child.” She finally answered.
“No, my dear. They do it because they love the child. The parents know what is good and what is not good for the him and when the child does something that is not right, they punish him out of love.”
Evelyn nodded and then sighed. “I am a dirty rag though, He will never see pass those.”
“As soon as you confess your sins to God, He will no longer remember them. They are gone and you are washed as white as snow.”
At this, Evelyn’s head started spinning from all the loss of blood. “He is always with you. I will always be with you. I want you to come back to me.” He whispered and Evelyn collapsed on the forest floor.
Evelyn sat on her bed with her brother’s knife in her hand. She sighed as she pulled the long knife from the sheath. She had let so many people down. She had too many broken hearts from boyfriends ditching her. Her family did not want her anymore. All they did was yell at her and get mad.
“What is the point of living if all you ever get is trampled on?” Evelyn asked herself out loud as she stared down at the blade. “I am not useful to anyone. All of my friends hate me, my family hates me, and even my friends outside the country hate me. I am good for nothing and never will be.” She yelled as tears streamed down her face.
She put the knife back in the sheath, stuck it in her pants pocket and headed down stairs. “Mom,” Evelyn said as she entered the kitchen. “I am going to head outside for awhile.” And headed out the back door.
Once Evelyn was a good mile away from the house, she pulled out the knife and dropped the sheath on the ground. She looked around her to make sure no one was watching. All she could see was the forest around her. There was no one in sight.
She sank to her knees as reality grasped her. She was going to commit suicide. Why? There was nothing left for her. She was no longer loved. She had been used over and over again. Her friends had abandoned her in her time of need. Her parents hated her.
“There is nothing left for me!” She yelled. She seemed to wait for an answer, but there was none. “I do not deserve to live.” She cried. Just as she cried out, the trees started to whistle, and the wind started to swirl. Evelyn looked up to see what was going on. The clouds had started to gather and the sky was growing dark. A rain drop fell on Evelyn’s nose, making her look up towards the sky.
She held the knife right at her bellybutton ready to plunge it in at any moment. Just as she was about ready to take her life, she heard someone whisper.
“Evelyn” It was saying. She stopped, brought the knife away from its target and looked around. To her surprise there was no one there. She brought the knife back up, shrugging away what she had heard. Slowly she pushed the knife into her stomach.
“Evelyn, my daughter, what are you doing?” She heard again.
“Father?” She asked as she stood up with tears in her eyes. She let the bloody knife drop to the ground. “Where are you? I can’t see you”
“No, you cannot. I will reveal myself when it is time.” He answered her. Evelyn felt a sincere peace come over her. “My daughter,” He said again. “Why are you out here, ready to take your own life? Has God called you to die yet?”
“God has never cared for me.” She cried. “He will never love me. Never.”
“Oh my daughter, He does love you. He has loved you through all that you have done.”
“I am dirty with sin.” She yelled. “I have been on drugs, I have let guys use me for their sake, I have self injured myself. He does not want me.”
“He will wash away your sins so that you may be in His presence forever.” He said calming her. Just then, Evelyn realized that she was bleeding badly and that she was a little weak.
She cried even harder. “If He loves me why has He left me to fall underneath the will of men?”
The man sighed. “You have a free will my dear Evelyn. He let you chose the path you walk because He loves you enough to hurt you. Why does a parent punish a child?”
With her hand over her stomach trying to stop the bleed, Evelyn stood there confused at the man’s question. “ Because the parent is mad at the child.” She finally answered.
“No, my dear. They do it because they love the child. The parents know what is good and what is not good for the him and when the child does something that is not right, they punish him out of love.”
Evelyn nodded and then sighed. “I am a dirty rag though, He will never see pass those.”
“As soon as you confess your sins to God, He will no longer remember them. They are gone and you are washed as white as snow.”
At this, Evelyn’s head started spinning from all the loss of blood. “He is always with you. I will always be with you. I want you to come back to me.” He whispered and Evelyn collapsed on the forest floor.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Opening Scene
This was my slap-up attempt at an opening scene the other night. Most of you have read it already. However, if you could please post your reactions as comments below...I would be really obliged. :)
Any further suggestions, please contact me via Skype or MSN/Hotmail. (And don't forget, we really would like to welcome more authors! -and you get some free advertising for your blog! ;))
SNAPSHOTS
CHAPTER ONE
She lay there, watching up at him with terrified eyes, not even daring to raise her hand to her swelling jaw line.
“You ---- ----!!!” he screamed at her, face distorted with rage. “You always think you can tell me what I ---- can can’t do! You little ---- whore! You’ve no right to preach at me with the life you’ve been living! Your God is always ---- right, always poking His nose right into other people’s business! Well, you’re a fine one to set the example for Him, aren’t you? You -----!!”
He moved closer, almost spitting in her face. Her whole body tensed as he invaded her space, his flushed skin and alcohol laced breath only inches away from her.
“He’s done a fine job of protecting you so far, hasn’t He? But then, someone as faithful in serving Him as you’ve been and so devoted to following Him deserves the most of His protection, don’t you think?” he hissed.
She closed her eyes. In spite of herself, the tears she long withheld gushed from under her lashes at the words which lanced her soul further.
“Let’s see if He can protect you now, eh?”
Her eyelids fluttered open, a new fear invading her.
“Dave...” she pleaded in a choked whisper. “Not now...”
He shot out a hand and grabbed her by the throat, yanking her upright. Her eyes widened and began to roll in their sockets as his grip tightened. He transferred his grip to her hair as he grabbed the collar of her t-shirt.
“This is my right, isn’t it?” he sneered. “And what you wanted so badly that you left everything for it. Love! Come on, I’m only giving you what you asked for!”
He tore at her clothes, stripping her top from her even as she struggled against him.
“Fighting me?” he crooned in a whisper, and then gave a brutal chuckle. “We’ll see about that.”
His nails tore down her skin, even as she cried out, digging into her stomach, deeper and deeper. Grabbing her wrists, he forced her back on her pillow. Sobbing now, she shook with fear. Suddenly his grip relaxed.
“No, why should I bother?”
She glanced up through her tears to see his gaze caustically rake up and over her.
“I can find better deals in a brothel.”
He banged the door shut behind him. It echoed in her mind and heart as she rolled, a little stiff, onto her side. The tears flowed without effort down her face. What hurt even worse than the physical pain he did and would have caused her, was the pang that she no longer held him by any means. The pain of rejection by the man she still loved so dearly.
She reached down and with effort pulled her knees up against her chest, in a protective movement. She closed her eyes, her mind taking her back to the dusty trail of her past, a path she travelled the least she could. Almost against her will, her thoughts turned the musty pages of long forgotten years, and retraced her steps to what had brought her here now; helpless, forsaken, alone.
~ ~ ~
........ :)
Any further suggestions, please contact me via Skype or MSN/Hotmail. (And don't forget, we really would like to welcome more authors! -and you get some free advertising for your blog! ;))
SNAPSHOTS
CHAPTER ONE
She lay there, watching up at him with terrified eyes, not even daring to raise her hand to her swelling jaw line.
“You ---- ----!!!” he screamed at her, face distorted with rage. “You always think you can tell me what I ---- can can’t do! You little ---- whore! You’ve no right to preach at me with the life you’ve been living! Your God is always ---- right, always poking His nose right into other people’s business! Well, you’re a fine one to set the example for Him, aren’t you? You -----!!”
He moved closer, almost spitting in her face. Her whole body tensed as he invaded her space, his flushed skin and alcohol laced breath only inches away from her.
“He’s done a fine job of protecting you so far, hasn’t He? But then, someone as faithful in serving Him as you’ve been and so devoted to following Him deserves the most of His protection, don’t you think?” he hissed.
She closed her eyes. In spite of herself, the tears she long withheld gushed from under her lashes at the words which lanced her soul further.
“Let’s see if He can protect you now, eh?”
Her eyelids fluttered open, a new fear invading her.
“Dave...” she pleaded in a choked whisper. “Not now...”
He shot out a hand and grabbed her by the throat, yanking her upright. Her eyes widened and began to roll in their sockets as his grip tightened. He transferred his grip to her hair as he grabbed the collar of her t-shirt.
“This is my right, isn’t it?” he sneered. “And what you wanted so badly that you left everything for it. Love! Come on, I’m only giving you what you asked for!”
He tore at her clothes, stripping her top from her even as she struggled against him.
“Fighting me?” he crooned in a whisper, and then gave a brutal chuckle. “We’ll see about that.”
His nails tore down her skin, even as she cried out, digging into her stomach, deeper and deeper. Grabbing her wrists, he forced her back on her pillow. Sobbing now, she shook with fear. Suddenly his grip relaxed.
“No, why should I bother?”
She glanced up through her tears to see his gaze caustically rake up and over her.
“I can find better deals in a brothel.”
He banged the door shut behind him. It echoed in her mind and heart as she rolled, a little stiff, onto her side. The tears flowed without effort down her face. What hurt even worse than the physical pain he did and would have caused her, was the pang that she no longer held him by any means. The pain of rejection by the man she still loved so dearly.
She reached down and with effort pulled her knees up against her chest, in a protective movement. She closed her eyes, her mind taking her back to the dusty trail of her past, a path she travelled the least she could. Almost against her will, her thoughts turned the musty pages of long forgotten years, and retraced her steps to what had brought her here now; helpless, forsaken, alone.
~ ~ ~
........ :)
Shameless Advertising
For each additional person who agrees to join us, we're going to do a post of free advertising. ;)
So - for Kiehl and myself!
If you ever wondered what it's like to travel inside the mind of a princess and discover her deep reflections, then visit The Musings of His Princess!
Are you travelling through the valley of despair right now? Join a pilgrim on her poetic Trek thru the Wilderness
Perhaps you want a random spark of craziness thrown into a slightly boring day. Or maybe the idea of Christians in the military amuses you. Why don't you have a look at a Cadet for Christ?
;) Your turn if you join us! :)
So - for Kiehl and myself!
If you ever wondered what it's like to travel inside the mind of a princess and discover her deep reflections, then visit The Musings of His Princess!
Are you travelling through the valley of despair right now? Join a pilgrim on her poetic Trek thru the Wilderness
Perhaps you want a random spark of craziness thrown into a slightly boring day. Or maybe the idea of Christians in the military amuses you. Why don't you have a look at a Cadet for Christ?
;) Your turn if you join us! :)
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Intro
Hello there and welcome to the Snapshot blogspot!
That has a lovely ring to it, doesn't it? Snapshot blogspot...hmm. :P
Anyway. This may or may not be a typical way a Rebelutionary does hard things but it's the way I'm doing it. :P
This story is one that I have thought of for a long while, but until recently, the complete idea of what I wanted, the will to write and the inspiration was not there.
It is the story of a young girl, who knew the right way to follow and went down the wrong path step by step. Starting with an abusive scene between her and her partner, it goes back in short photographic scenes to the changing points in her life which brought her where she is now. I intend to deal with self harm, pornography issues and abuse - mental and physical, hopefully. My goal is to reach the hearts of people...but what I do if/when I reach their hearts rests completely in the Hands of the Lord. Please pray for His guidance on this story, and that hearts that are broken may at least see the promise of a new dawn.
First section coming up soon! ;) I won't post the whole thing on here for fear of stealers, but you will get a few previews. ;) (That's WHY I made this blog! ;))
And some more exciting news. I'm going to ask a few of you to join me along the way! Sharing the idea with Laura/StoryGirl and Kiehl/Civil War Dancer, in a Skype chat created for the purpose, we decided to write it as a co-authored novel.
Laurale will be contributing here and there as she is a very busy girlie at the minute, but Kiehl is able to actively work on it.
The Skype chat topic read as such: A girls' chat - for now - for those with hearts and/or experience to write a multi-authored story about one of the "bad" topics. Self-harm, abuse, porn - suggestions. Idea - each one posts something every time they come on. A brief paragraph or so.
I wasn't sure how the idea would be taken by my male friends, and so withheld the idea from them. However I later shared it, tentatively, with my bittle brother Nick/Bookwyrmnick, my best friend Kyle/Jackson, my big brother Greg/PhoenixLance, my aeroplane brother Miguel/Blizzard of Fire and my oniisan Chris/formerly Kvothe.
The reactions for the most part were rather encouraging, ranging from complete disapproval(well, he did suggest some changes) to extremely encouraging. Therefore, I'm also opening the doors to boys as authors.
Part of my reasoning for that suggestion is that I am still uncertain which person format to work with. I started it off in third as an onlooker, and yet apparently managed to convey emotion in it. If it is written in first...how much more powerfully will it come across? Opinions?
Also, I am wondering about point of view shifts. However, there are several guys involved in the life of our main character. If we have guy povs, that was part of my idea for getting the guys involved.
However, as I said. This book might be better being written by girls alone with guy input. I simply don't know. And for that, please, we really, really need your comments. Please, everyone.
So we present to you, ladies and gentlemen...
Snapshots.
That has a lovely ring to it, doesn't it? Snapshot blogspot...hmm. :P
Anyway. This may or may not be a typical way a Rebelutionary does hard things but it's the way I'm doing it. :P
This story is one that I have thought of for a long while, but until recently, the complete idea of what I wanted, the will to write and the inspiration was not there.
It is the story of a young girl, who knew the right way to follow and went down the wrong path step by step. Starting with an abusive scene between her and her partner, it goes back in short photographic scenes to the changing points in her life which brought her where she is now. I intend to deal with self harm, pornography issues and abuse - mental and physical, hopefully. My goal is to reach the hearts of people...but what I do if/when I reach their hearts rests completely in the Hands of the Lord. Please pray for His guidance on this story, and that hearts that are broken may at least see the promise of a new dawn.
First section coming up soon! ;) I won't post the whole thing on here for fear of stealers, but you will get a few previews. ;) (That's WHY I made this blog! ;))
And some more exciting news. I'm going to ask a few of you to join me along the way! Sharing the idea with Laura/StoryGirl and Kiehl/Civil War Dancer, in a Skype chat created for the purpose, we decided to write it as a co-authored novel.
Laurale will be contributing here and there as she is a very busy girlie at the minute, but Kiehl is able to actively work on it.
The Skype chat topic read as such: A girls' chat - for now - for those with hearts and/or experience to write a multi-authored story about one of the "bad" topics. Self-harm, abuse, porn - suggestions. Idea - each one posts something every time they come on. A brief paragraph or so.
I wasn't sure how the idea would be taken by my male friends, and so withheld the idea from them. However I later shared it, tentatively, with my bittle brother Nick/Bookwyrmnick, my best friend Kyle/Jackson, my big brother Greg/PhoenixLance, my aeroplane brother Miguel/Blizzard of Fire and my oniisan Chris/formerly Kvothe.
The reactions for the most part were rather encouraging, ranging from complete disapproval(well, he did suggest some changes) to extremely encouraging. Therefore, I'm also opening the doors to boys as authors.
Part of my reasoning for that suggestion is that I am still uncertain which person format to work with. I started it off in third as an onlooker, and yet apparently managed to convey emotion in it. If it is written in first...how much more powerfully will it come across? Opinions?
Also, I am wondering about point of view shifts. However, there are several guys involved in the life of our main character. If we have guy povs, that was part of my idea for getting the guys involved.
However, as I said. This book might be better being written by girls alone with guy input. I simply don't know. And for that, please, we really, really need your comments. Please, everyone.
So we present to you, ladies and gentlemen...
Snapshots.
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