Friday, December 31, 2010

Scene 3

This is Evelyn's first cutting. Mild enough, I think we can develop over time.

She slammed the lid on her laptop down, shaking in every limb.

Why did he do this? Why? Doesn’t he know how much I need him? How much I trust him? Doesn’t he know he’s the only one I turn to?

She bit her trembling lip to stop the tears that wanted to come and blinked hard, willing them away.

The pain. The pain! How much more emotional pain I can take? The one guy I trusted through that hell I was in is walking out of my life.


“Evelyn!” Her dad’s voice bellowed as he banged on her door. She cowered in the corner, clutching her clothes to her. “How many times do I have to tell you to go downstairs and do the dishes? You’re so rebellious and disobedient it’s beyond belief. I want to go to bed. If you’re not down in the next ten minutes, I’m coming in.”

Pausing a moment, she forced an unnaturally cheerful tone into her voice.

“Coming, Dad! Give me a minute.”

Whirling around, she dragged her pyjamas on, one idea burning in her mind.

Dan said it worked to ease the pain.

She opened her door and headed downstairs, past her dad on the computer, into the kitchen. Sobs overtook her, shaking her slight body, though she bit her lip to hold back any noise. Dashing to the far end of the kitchen, she grabbed the kitchen towel and turned to the cutlery. She picked up a dinner knife; drawing back her sleeve, she slashed down. It cut into the tender skin. She didn’t even notice any pain as she whirled around, turning her back to the cutlery.

Oh, God! What have I done! What have I done!

Clenching her teeth, she whirled around, grabbing all the cutlery and flinging it, wet, into the drawer. Gaining control over herself a little, she hastily sorted it into piles. Knives, forks, spoons. Then she slammed it shut.

You KNOW what the Bible says about cutting yourself! What have you done!

Shakily, she finished off the rest of the dishes. Drawing her sleeve carefully over her cut arm, she walked with a fake swagger upstairs, past her Dad. He didn’t glance up.

“All done. Night.”


She soaked her pillow with tears for an hour or more before falling asleep. The pain in her arm had faded to a dull ache.

I should have done it deeper...


  1. Just a thought, but does that seem a little extreme to start out with...? Excellent writing as always..!

  2. What do you mean by extreme? :) Thanks for the comment!

  3. Finally up to date on reading the post!
    I know this sounds so wierd, but it's the first thing that came to my mind after reading through everything... this story is going to be beautiful. God is going to use it to touch so meny lives.
    Have you seen the movie "To Save a Life"? This is like our own To Save the Life story.
    I'm so excited for this Janey! Time I get on board! You can bet I'll be scribling down and sending you the first scene that cames to my mind. :)

    God bless.


This is one of the hardest things I've ever attempted. I would welcome your encouragement to keep pushing me to carry on (and overcome my procrastination!). Your comments are more welcome from the bottom of my heart than I can ever say!

As we Rebelutionaries say: Do Hard Things! ;)